DID YOU THINK I’VE DISAPPEARED? HAHAHAHAHA! NO YOU FOOLS! I HAVE BEEN BIDING MY TIME UNTIL I AM ASKED QUESTIONS! AND UNTIL I SEE JIN-GITAXIAS! 

aethertaffyswirl:

trois-gymnopedies:

billiejoeisaburrito:

morticiandaughter:

I WILL NEVER NOT REBLOG THIS

No, No, No! You need heat vision! Eye lasers will cut the cookie sheet into thirds, I know from experience using lasers for things they should not be used for. It is a long story.

Hahahaha! This is how I make cookies! Instead of eye lasers I use my dragons though, they cook the cookies in about 3 seconds or so. Give or take 2 seconds.

askjin-gitaxias:

zestyoranges:

groovymidnight:

twilightsparklesharem:

(via askoldjin-gitaxias)

WHAT, ARE ALL YOU MAGGOTS TOO COWARDLY TO DARE APPROACH ONE SO MIGHTY AS THE MANSLAYER HIMSELF…?

…I DO NOT BLAME THEE!

Today was tiresome until nightfall. I was in the Wallstone Tavern, having a few pints with some of my higher-ranked men, when a group of patrons yelled at us, telling us we were too loud for them! “Just because your weak eardrums cannot handle us does not mean we are forced to quiet down for you, you vermin!” I shouted back, but those weak little milk-drinkers snickered at me. SNICKERED!?! THEY TAKE ME FOR A COWARD?!?

I ran towards them, tackling them and throwing them into their little table! Their gangly limbs could not stand the impact of my attack, as bones shattered beneath me! Haha! I killed all of them right then and there, with only my bare hands, smashing their puny faces in and breaking their flimsy bones! Weaker then milk-drinkers these rats were! Hahahaha!

The owner threatened to call the guards on me and my men for murder, and I was not armed properly to fight a full squadron of guards. Did that stop me and my men? NO, WAHAHAHA! Using what we had available to us, the fire from the fireplace, kitchen knives, the like, we slaughtered every one of the fools in that tavern! WAHAHAHAHA! I remember one man, begged for mercy at my feet! Like a dog! Pathetic! People like that don’t deserve to live! 

Me and my men captured a few people and set the tavern on fire, running out of the town with our captives in our arms. Our haul was a few pints of mead, bottled, that were lying around, three women, (Fairly ugly, the men can have them for all I care) and the owner himself, who I plan to offer up to Jin-Gitaxias when I visit New Phyrexia to show him I mean business.

Dharok signing off! Wahahahaha!

Last night was a great bit of FUN! I woke up next to that bar-maiden Lydia this morning…she’s a beautiful one, a real fox if I remember correctly…er, anyways, I instructed one of my servants to escort her out of the camp discreetly…my men aren’t very, shall we say, “well-tamed” around women.

Regardless, I’ve got a splitting headache and a chest full of coins and empty bottles of mead and ale that I’m not sure how I obtained. Alas, as a wise man once said to me in a bar in Solitude: “I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day. “

askvoidstrider:

While I understand that most people are consumed either by the Eldrazi or burned away by the infinite mana present in them, I still say one of my favorite places to visit is the Blind Eternities, even if only for a maximum of a single observable second. The collision of mana so powerful and…

too long for me to read HAHAHAHAyou talk to much pathos, siddown and ave a drink with me and the boys herwe, hHAHAHAHAHA 

happynew year you foolsish infants, HAHAHAHA, i may hve had a bit of meah to drink , HAHAHAHAHAH, but anyways happy new year we may be plundrering you later if i feel like it hahahahaHAHAHAHAH

asksummonersriftdragon:

the-void-walker:

chaozmix:

terezibutttouchpyrope:

vantasgotswag:

janelvalle:

vividalice69:

sunsetseve:

lolitawonderland:

mustbejyro777:

letsparksfly:

DAMMIT, STAFF. 

oh snap, they’re serious this time, jeezus it’s from staff

Fine, I’m giving in.

Ahh… Just as I organized all my stuff…

wow :|

ah fuck it

wat

Alroighty

ENTERTAIN ME! I’M BORED!